Last Thursday, I received a call that my cousin JoAnn had lost her battle with cancer. The news came while my two teenage daughters and I were away on vacation before the oldest heads to college. JoAnn and her husband also have two daughters – now in their forties. JoAnn was courageous in her fight for many months. She spent very little time in the hospital and died in her home, thanks to her will and the support of her wonderful husband and family.

Joann was the daughter of my grandmother’s sister Mary. Aunt Mary was one of those aunts who always had a fully stocked candy dish whenever I stopped in for a visit. We always laughed as if we were both kids. JoAnn spent her entire career teaching young women early childhood education – she taught teachers. As our extended family is Italian, careers were not usually the main topic of conversation at gatherings – food usually held that spotlight.

JoAnn married Carl on the day after Christmas, 1965. They were just a few months shy of having shared 45 years together. Carl was also a teacher and apparently a very good listener, as JoAnn would want to share the stories of the students about whom she cared very much. Many of my memories of Joann and Carl are of two people who stayed close to each other at family functions, usually among the most sensible of the bunch.

Today, during the funeral, my respect for their relationship grew even more. As my older cousin, JoAnn and I would discuss our common interests in the education of young children and the importance of a teacher’s training. But it was through the words of others that I learned of the countless lives she influenced. The old metaphor of ripples created by a single pebble seems perfect here. JoAnn never sought fame or fortune. Her life’s work was her passion. Her students and their students were influenced in immeasurable ways. Her relationships, both personal and professional, would reap the rewards of a woman living her life with intention. Walking into the funeral, my thoughts were with her husband, because he and JoAnn had been so close – of the sense of loss that must be overwhelming.

When we all said goodbye, I realized that my assumption did not reflect the strength shown by JoAnn and her family. Carl is proud of her and can smile about their life together. She was a true role model for her daughters. Amy has chosen to stay home raising her two beautiful children. Kristen is single and, as she describes it, “makes others laugh” for a living. She creates promotional events for corporations and is in the Guinness Book of Records for “most elves at an event” – actually, Aunt Mary’s genes might have played a role there, too… Kristen made sure that JoAnn’s wish was granted – that the Notre Dame fight song would be sung at the funeral luncheon – It was lead by her 10 year old grandson.

I did not head back to CT with a sense of loss, but rather gratitude for JoAnn’s example of staying true to one’s values and following our passion – to be that pebble, casting ripples out for the benefit of future generations. JoAnn was not a CEO, nor did she publish a book or run for office, but she left this world having created a legacy of passion and strength and love.